


Not alone

by serenitykid7875



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 18:50:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2702717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenitykid7875/pseuds/serenitykid7875
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The team are talking down a bomber, when Jemma admits she's wanted just what the bomber wanted. See how Jemma finds out she's no longer alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not alone

To say Skye was prepared for the moment that she realized who she really cared about, worried about, loved unconditional, and wanted to protect from anything and everything that would hurt them; which was when she was being the sniper lookout on the roof opposite the building the team currently were in trying to talk down a bomber who had several of the obelisk disks embedded in a bomb that would go off and kill anyone in the way. Jemma, Bobbie, and Hunter were inside talking with the man trying to get him to give up the bomb and let everyone free; May was on another rooftop next to Skye’s watching for anything that were to go wrong, while Trip was waiting in the plane in case they needed to make a quick getaway. This was the moment she realized she wanted that someone to know that she loved them and would protect them.

Skye watched through the windows as Jemma and Bobbie tried to talk the man down; Hunter was circling around the back of the guy just in case he needed to make a quick call and take the guy out before he detonated the bomb. Skye could hear Jemma talking with the man trying to connect, to give him a reason not to detonate the bomb; he was starting to listen to Jemma, but when Hunter moved out of his peripheral he went on the offensive and moved toward Jemma angrily.

Skye immediately wanted to take the shot to kill the guys threatening Jemma, at the same time she watched through her scope as Bobbie stepped between Jemma and the guy; Skye felt a moment of jealousy go through her, she wanted to be the one to protect Jemma. She knew that she should want to keep everyone safe and she did, but her first instinct was to protect Jemma at all costs. So as she stood there prepared to shoot if the guy made another wrong move, she thought about why she felt that way toward Jemma; yes, she loved her, but did she love her love her? Ever since Jemma got back from being inside Hydra Skye had wanted to be with her at all times, to care for her, to protect her, and to love her; Skye realized she did love Jemma, like love her love her, she wanted her to know just how much she meant to her and maybe she’d tell her.

Inside the building…

‘Oh lord.’ Jemma thought as the man took a step toward her.

“Hey. We’re just here to help you.” Bobbie said as she stepped in front of Jemma, as Jemma took a step back in fear.

“Help me? How are you helping me?” The man said as he raised his hand that had the detonator in it.

“There are a lot of innocent people in here. Do you really want to kill everyone?”

“I just want them to listen.”

“And trust me they are listening. You’ve made your point. Let the people go, disarm the bomb, and we all can walk out of here. You want that don’t you Logan?”

“I just want them to understand.”

“We know and I understand. You left because it was supposed to be better for them; it was supposed to help them move on. These people were supposed to help them and they didn’t. You thought by leaving you’d save your family, help them. Sometimes it doesn’t work like that. Sometimes you can’t fix things that way.” Jemma said stepping out from behind Bobbie.

“How do you know?” Logan said.

“Because the people I work for I left them for another mission and it was the hardest thing I’ve had to do. I thought by leaving it would protect them. I thought by leaving it would help my best friend find his own way. I was hurting him and ever since I came back I think it still hurts him. I want to help him, but I’m afraid that the only way I can help him is by leaving and this team it’s my family, it hurt the first time and I don’t think I’d be able to handle having to leave again.”

“That’s it exactly. I want to protect them and now I can’t. I wanted to keep them safe. I wanted them to be able to do everything they needed.”

“No you can’t protect them anymore, but you can give the reason they didn’t die in vain. They are still alive in the way that you remember them. Remember them alive, happy, and loved.”

Logan then pulled out the wires that would set the bomb off and unhooked the bomb from his chest, he then said, “You’re right. I will be a good person to show them that they didn’t die in vain.”

“Good.” Jemma said as Bobbie took the device from Logan.

On the rooftop of the building nearby…

Skye didn’t know the whole truth of why Jemma left and even when she came back she hadn’t asked, she was just too happy that Jemma was back with them. She was going to talk with Jemma about all the things that she had said to Logan; she knew that something was still bothering Jemma by the way she talked about it.

Skye watched as Bobbie handed Hunter the bomb, who had finished helping the others get free and then moved toward Jemma putting a hand on her back and pulled her in to a hug. She couldn’t tell what they were saying to each other, but she could see that they were talking; she feel the anger rise in her chest, so she looked away and tried to take deep, calming breaths.

May came on over the coms and said, “Skye head back to the jet. We take off in ten.”

“I’m on the move.” Skye said in to the coms, as she disassembled her gun as she started to the jet where she’d met up with the rest of the team.

On the jet…

Jemma was sitting in the jet waiting for the rest of the team to come, so that they could get out of the area and back to base. This mission had gotten Jemma thinking about the reason why she left the first time, the people she wanted to protect, the person she was trying to help; she always thought about it, about what if she had stayed would Fitz still be the person that he was? Would he have been able to move past her still being there? Would they have been able to help the people that they’d been able too? Would she have the opportunity to keep the team safe by giving information that she gathered while with Hydra?

Jemma spent a great deal of time thinking all these things and wondering if she made the right choice in staying a second time; Coulson had offered to let her go to England to help run the SHIELD office there, but she didn’t want to leave again it was hard enough the first time and she didn’t think she’d be able to do it a second time. She remembered the sleepless nights worried about the teams’ safety, about her own safety, and about whether she had made the right decision in leaving. Jemma continued to stay deep in thought till someone sitting down next to her grabbed her attention; Skye sat down silently next to her and took Jemma’s hand in hers.

Jemma had missed this, being able to talk to Skye, lean on her, and hold her hand when she needed comfort; being on mission with no one, but herself was one of the hardest things that she had to do. She could no longer talk aloud like she normally did, in fear of what she might say that would trigger someone in Hydra to know she was a leak. She missed not being alone like she was with the team, but even when she was with the team right now she still felt alone.

Skye could see the wheels turning in Jemma’s head as she bit gently on her bottom lip, while thinking; normally when Jemma thought that much it meant that something was bothering her and Skye planned on finding out what exactly that was, but when they were back at HQ and after the debrief. Skye just took the opportunity to continue to hold Jemma’s hand, while Jemma leaned against her as they flew back to SHIELD.

Bobbie had taken a seat next to Hunter who was sitting across from Jemma and Skye, he had a look of surprise when he saw Skye take Jemma’s hand in hers; he didn’t think Skye swung that way and was about to make a comment when Bobbie nudged him and shook her head, he nodded in agreement that he wasn’t going to make a comment.

“What’s going on between those two?” Hunter asked Bobbie who seemed to know more than he did.

“It’s a long story. Don’t make a comment about it. They haven’t discussed anything.” Bobbie replied.

“How do you know all this?”

“Jemma needed someone to talk to, remember what she said about leaving to Logan?”

“Yeah, so?”

“You know that Jemma left before you joined with Harley.”

“Yes.”

“Well it was because Fitz was having a difficult time transitioning after he woke from his coma, he was worse when she was around, so Coulson gave her a mission. She left without saying anything to anyone, which was really hard for her especially because she can’t lie.”

“She can’t lie?”

“Yes she can’t lie. She’s a terrible liar, you should have seen her when she thought I was Hydra, tried to convince me that she was dedicated to the cause, but failed miserably. She is the worse liar I’ve ever met.”

“Okay please continue.”

“She left everything and everyone. No one could know anything. She was alone in there for eight months before the rest of the team knew she was the leak in Hydra and another month after that she was still rising up the ranks until Raina gave her up, which lead to me saving her. She tries to stay away from Fitz since she makes him worse, but before all this he was her best friend, partner in the lab, and like a brother. And now he can barely make it through a complete sentence around her, even though he can make complete thoughts around others. It hurts her to think she’s causing him pain or discomfort.”

“Were they ever a thing?”

“No, he did tell her he loved her when they were sunk at the bottom of the ocean just after Hydra came out, but when he got better she told him she did love him just not in the way that he loved her.”

“He’s never explained it that way.”

“I know. I think that’s what hurts her the most, that he thinks she just left him. But that’s so far from the truth.”

“No wonder she cries.”

“When has she cried?”

“Almost every night she cries. Her rooms right next to mine. And you know how even the littlest thing will wake me.”

“I do. Next time will you come tell me? I don’t want her to feel alone.”

“Yeah, but I think Skye might dislike that.”

“True. She has been watching carefully when Jemma and I are working together. I’ll have a conversation with her later, before she and Jemma disappear to one of the labs.”

The rest of the plane ride was uneventful, Jemma and Skye continued to lean on each other for support, while Hunter and Bobbie continued to talk quietly about things going on around SHIELD HQ.

After the debriefing…

“Skye, could I talk to you for a minute?” Bobbie asked quickly as Skye and Jemma got up to leave.

“Sure. I’ll meet you in the lab 114, Jem.” Skye said and then she watched Jemma head to the lab before turning to face Bobbie. “What’s up?”

“I know that you don’t like me much, but you have no reason to. I’m not interested in her. She just needed someone to talk to and I think she feels bad about making you guys worry more.”

“I don’t dislike you. I just…”

“I know you love her and you get jealous when I’m around her, but trust me she feels the same way about you. I’ve been talking with her ever since we got her out of Hydra and after the conversation I had with Hunter on the jet she needs you.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Hunter says she cries almost every night and trust me he’d know, he’s the lightest sleeper in the world.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I’ve watched you two and in this job you can’t ever take anything for granted. You can’t think one day you’ll bring it up, because you might not have the opportunity to later. Don’t live life afraid. She needs you and I think you need her too.”

“Thanks Bobbie and for the record I don’t hate you. Yes I dislike that you and Jemma get along, but you keep her safe and I’m grateful for that.”

“No problem Skye. Now go talk to her.”

Skye took that as her time to leave and headed to the lab where Jemma was continuing to work on her hard drive that was broken during Bobbie and Jemma’s escape from Hydra; Skye immediately headed to lab 114.

In the lab…

Jemma couldn’t focus on the hard drive in front of her, all she could think about was what Logan had said after they had handcuffed him and were handing him over to the military. He had said something about being sorry he ever left in the first place; that he could have protected them better if he was with them. Could he be right? Should she have stayed? Did she hurt them more by leaving? Would Fitz still think that she just left him because of trivial reasons? She didn’t know the answers and so she continued to ponder if she made the correct choices.

Jemma had missed them so much and thinking that she did more damage by leaving bothered her; she only wanted to be able to protect them, to be helpful to them. She felt as if she were a burden after they were rescued from the ocean by Fury; she felt like she couldn’t protect them, couldn’t keep them safe. She hated feeling this way and she didn’t know how to feel any differently; she had worked so hard with in Hydra only to not have any information because she couldn’t figure out the stupid hard drive.

Skye entered the lab to find Jemma deep in thought again, she slowly walked over to her and put a hand on Jemma’s shoulder; it surprised Jemma, but she knew who it was by the gentleness of it. Jemma turned to look at Skye, who had put both hands on her arms to pull her closer; Jemma could tell that Skye knew something was wrong and she prepared herself for what they were going to talk about.

“You want to talk about it?” Skye asked softly as she led Jemma over to the couch in the corner of the lab room.

“I…I don’t know where to begin.” Jemma said as she sat down next to Skye, who then pulled her to lean against her.

“How about starting at the beginning? When Coulson gave you your mission.”

“Coulson pulled me aside a little bit after Fitz woke up after I realized how much I was a hindrance to Fitz’s recovery. He told me no one could know of this mission because it could be dangerous to me and to you guys. One night he woke me up and told me to pack, which I did and he sent me to the apartment that I was going to us near Hydra’s labs. He gave directions to infiltrate and try and rise up the ranks, which I did, slowly though. The first month in the apartment and with Hydra were horrible, I felt so alone and I knew I couldn’t contact you guys, so I spent a lot of time alone. After several months I got in to a routine that I just buried myself into to keep going. I worked late so that I wouldn’t have to be alone at home thinking about all the things I can’t control.”

“You didn’t know Bobbie had already infiltrated?”

“No. The day you guys found out I was the leak, I was worried, that you guys would get hurt. I didn’t have enough time to contact you guys before they made me board the helicopter that was to take us to Donnie. And when Donnie was told to freeze you all wherever you were on the ship I almost gave myself away; I didn’t want anything to happen to you guys. After I saved Sunil Bakshi who was second in command after Daniel Whitehall I started to really gain rank, until Raina gave me up. Bobbie saved me and you know the rest.”

“Do you still feel alone?”

“Skye…”

“I just want to know everything Jemma. I want to be here for you. I want you to feel safe and like you’re not alone. So please tell me the truth. Do you still feel alone?”

“Yes, sometimes I do. Mostly at night when I really am alone or sometimes when I’m working in the lab.”

“Oh Jemma.”

Skye pulled Jemma into a hug knowing how hard this was for her to talk about what was bothering her; Jemma let Skye pull her in to a hug and started rub circles on her back, she couldn’t hold the tears in anymore and started to cry. Skye just held on to Jemma as she cried hoping that she was giving her the comfort that she needed; she wanted to make Jemma feel like she was not alone and that she was safe.

“Jemma I know that this will be hard, but tell me about Fitz and the real reason he thinks you left.”

“He thinks I left because I didn’t feel the same and that I think he’s useless and won’t ever be the same. Which is completely untrue, but no matter what I said or will say he’ll always think that.”

“And the real reason.”

“I left to protect you guys. To help him, with me here he’s different he can’t finish things the way he can when I’m gone. I hurt him by being here. I hurt the team by being here.”

“Jemma that’s not true. He just needs time and the truth. And we need you here, you help us more than you think you do. Like today when you were talking with Logan, you’re the one who convinced him to give up, and you’re the one who connected with him. Jemma you mean more to the team then someone who does the lab work, you’re a part of this team and we wouldn’t be able to do it without you.”

“Thank you Skye.”

“No problem and if you ever need to be reminded again I’m here for you day or night. You mean to much to me for you to feel like you don’t fit in. Fitz will get over it in time and with the truth it will help him.”

“You’re right. I just…I hate to see him having so much trouble.”

“I know. Jemma I need to tell you something.” Skye said as she suddenly felt nervous, yes she wanted to tell Jemma how she felt, but she was scared about what Jemma might say back.

“Okay. What is it?” Jemma said worried that Skye had just said all those things to make her feel better and was now going to tell her something different.

“I know that with everything going on you don’t need to hear this, but I need to tell you.”

“Okay.”

“I love you. I think I always have and I want to be the one to prove to you just how much everyone needs you. I need you. When you were talking with Logan you said something about leaving again and I want you to know that you don’t have to everything will work its self out. And I don’t want you to go, ever, I need you and want you here so that I can make sure that you’re safe and not alone.”

“You love me? Like really love me?”

“Yes.”

Skye continued to look at the ground till she felt Jemma’s hand under her chin making her look at her; Skye saw the tears in Jemma’s eyes and thought that she was going to say she didn’t feel the same, but when Jemma leaned in to kiss her it took at least half a minute for her to respond and happily. When they broke apart for needing to breathe, Skye kissed Jemma once more before letting her pull away; Jemma had a smile on her face that told Skye she was very happy for the first time in a long time.

Jemma finally felt that she wasn’t alone and Skye was going to make sure she never felt it again.


End file.
